While All Other Actors Were Busy With Oscars, Nicolas Cage Lands 15 Mediocre Roles
LOS ANGELES (The Global Edition) – While all the other actors in Hollywood were being entertained at the 85th annual Academy Motion Picture Arts and Sciences award show, Nicholas Cage managed to sign a contract to perform in 15 upcoming mediocre movie roles, Entertainment Weekly is reporting.
During the six hour show, the famous Hollywood actor visited numerous casting sessions and business lunches in which he eventually managed to land 15 mediocre movie roles because there was no one else to compete for them with him.
“I’ve been in this business for far too long, I know how this works,” Mr. Cage said. “I used to visit the Oscars and think they were important, but the moment I won one, I realized just how insignificant this award really is,” the actor added.
Mr. Cage explained that winning the Oscar didn’t help him get any more parts. In fact, the actor said that all it really did was “waste his time sitting around waiting to get some dumb statue while all the other untalented actors were busy stealing his possible ‘easy money’ jobs”.
“It’s not like I’m interested in working with great directors on important artistic films so that maybe showing up at this award show could help me get closer to working with them. No man, I just want to get paid for showing minimum effort,” the actor added.
As the six hour ceremony went on, Mr. Cage signed up for more than a dozen mediocre projects including “Drive Angry 2″, “Drive Angrier”, “Drive Really Annoyed”, and “Drive Extremely Pissed”, a reboot of the “Ghost Rider” reboot and 10 other projects with names he forgot because Mr. Cage says that he only reads the zeroes on the checks, and not the films’ titles.