Published On: Wed, Nov 7th, 2012

Trump Plans Billionaires March on Washington

WASHINGTON (The Global Edition) — At a jointly held press conference today, Donald Trump and Rupert Murdoch announced that they would be organizing “The Million, Billionaires march on Washington.”

After selling their list of demands to the reporters present, Trump spoke up, “There is no ‘affirmative action’ for billionaires. I went to vote, I couldn’t even get a cocktail with it. Furthermore, they only let me vote once. I own over 200 corporations in the United States and those corporations are people too. Had we gotten to vote only once for every corporation that we own, the results of this election would be quite different.”

“I don’t see why poorer people should vote at all,” Murdoch interjected. “Eventually we’ll let the voting right trickle down to them.”

“This will be unlike your traditional march, because we won’t actually be marching. We will hire proxies to march for us and furthermore there aren’t a million billionaires, there are only about four hundred of us, and Gates, Buffett and Bloomberg have refused to join us. So far we expect to have the proxies for The Koch Brothers, Sheldon Adelson and Mitt Romney, of course,” stated Trump.

There is growing support in The House of Representatives for legislation that would give aid to billionaires. “This won’t cost us one cent,” stated Representative, Eric Cantor, “All that we have to do is extend the Bush-era tax cuts for the wealthiest one percent, reduce school lunch programs, and it will work. I don’t want to bore you with the math.”

It has been learned that “aid to billionaires” language has been earmarked onto a bill guaranteeing all injured veterans one meal per day, which had been stalled in committee for two years.

By TGE correspondent Jello Marx

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  • http://YourWebsite... xxx

    Genijalno :)

  • http://YourWebsite... Fahd

    He is nuts.

  • http://YourWebsite... terry parenteau

    UNREAL!!!Murdoch is not even american.UNREAL!!

  • christine conway

    Donald Trump is not nuts.
    This is sarcasm- funny.

  • http://YourWebsite... christine conway

    I;m sure Mr.Trump would be happy to release his K-12 records. They would be accessible and legit like most every other citizens- except someone claiming the moniker Barry Soetoro.
    Academic standing is not the point. Transparency and legitimacy are.
    Power to you Mr. Trump. Cocktails at my place when you expose the impostor. God Bless the Real America.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pat.pettie.9 Pat Pettie

      Hi Christine Conway: I will join you. God Bless the Real American!
      Mr. Trump is a natural born..successful but because he is our Right wing American and GOP supporter, the Wrong wing nuts had to say some stupid things. Bill Gates is a college dropped out too. Education is not just for making a career, education is life..a well educated people are not just physicallly or a piece of paper but their minds too.
      Mr. Trump did try to help hussein obamafia to come out clean and transparency like he said he will but of course, when you live your whole life on lies, imposter, faux, illegal just too deep to able to dig himself out. hussein obama is above all mythmakers. He has to be. He has no stores of the kinds of leadership to set against the real accomplished American like Mr. Romney. So to compensate for this evitable lack. He has to manufacture for himself to draw supporters. In order to detach people from their royalties to the real American, pretenders need to put out a more attractive story about himself.
      In conclusion, the pretender and imposter able to fool American twice. Then again, from what I read some comments, it proved there is a stupid born every minute.

      • cal

        don’y u see what type of word he uses how do you people follow someone like that and say you are not racist wtf….

  • http://none Paul Rod

    Trump’s corporations are people too, and all of these people were allowed to vote too ! Trump like most billionaires wants to get richer at the cost of our health and dignity, and is completely nuts !

  • http://YourWebsite... Phillip Roberts

    “I don’t see why poorer people should vote at all,” Murdoch interjected. “Eventually we’ll let the voting right trickle down to them.”

    Thank god Obama & the Democrates won.

  • http://YourWebsite... Me

    Yes the man is nuts. He is just pissed off he will have to pay his fair share of taxes.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003294291851 Justin Smithers

      And what, exactly, does “fair share” mean, genius?

  • http://YourWebsite... Rob James

    Did Trump just actually say he OWNS 200 “people”??? If ever there was evidence to suggest that the slave-owner mentality was alive and well…

    If corporations are people then Trump should be arrested and convicted on “human” rights violations. You’re not allowed to OWN people anymore in America. If they’re people then Trump by his own admission is violating the Constitution. Someone should point that out to him – that would sure kick-start the conversation. Corporations should be encouraged to cast a vote free from the domineering influence of their slave-masters. Wait – that would require sentience and individuality. Corporations, being “entities” have no corporeal form and therefore are incapable of voting with the average voting machine, touch screen, or even holding a pencil. It’s astounding to me how stupid, ignorant, and misguided some people are.

    Murdoch clearly thinks that net worth = your value as a human being. Apparently net worth ≠ brains in your head. The wording in his sentence about LETTING the voting RIGHT trickle down is contradictory in its very nature. Just as a side note example, Mother Teresa didn’t own a damn thing but she was worth more to this world than a million billionaires.

  • http://YourWebsite... Rob James

    But I digress… If only they were stupid enough to ACTUALLY say something like this – now that would be REALLY entertaining…

    Lol

  • http://YourWebsite... markymark715

    Billionaires march lol. I guess he will have to sit that one out since he is only worth about 150 million. The amount that he inherited from his father. All the Wall street bigwigs (pun) think he is a failure and his only real income is from his show. Everything else he does fails.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003294291851 Justin Smithers

      Obama is a millionaire several times over as well. He would be marching on himself.

  • http://YourWebsite... Billie Colbourn

    How about Trump and Murdoch occupy some place – not a mental institution, that costs money – but live in tents in some part for a few months, fending for themselves and managing on what is donated? At worst it would make for a reality show and at best they might learn something. I do think it is time these scumbags were ignored. President Obama did a wonderful job of putting down Trump and I suppose this is some kind of petty revenge. Inciting the populace to revolution is a criminal offence, isn’t it? Love to see Trump in handcuffs and without his hairdresser.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pat.pettie.9 Pat Pettie

      Ha Ha..hussein obama put down Mr. Trump! You must be in the cave some where in Kenya when Mr. Trump announced that he will donate $5 million to any charity that hussein obama wants only hussein has to prove that he is a true American. Natural born and apply to college as an American not as an Indonesian to get a free scholar. What’s wrong with that if hussein obama had nothing to hide? why don’t he do it so at least he can donate the money to some of the victims of Sandy or other charity!!
      But because hussein obamafia is an imposter, a liar, a treasonist, a muslime brotherhood, he was unable to have any “REAL” birth certificate to prove it, only the fake one that done by computer – so poorly done considered millions of dollars spent to make a fraud on! ha..ha..Mr. Trump is a true American who work hard and accomplished his American Dream, honest and not cheating like hussein obamafia…SO who is the real winner here? obama hussein is a…looser…with his stupid supporters, all the welfare recipients, food stamps, drug addicts, and sadly STUPID…

      • OBNative

        God damn you are a real piece of work. Can I have whatever you’re smoking?

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003294291851 Justin Smithers

          If you voted for Obama you already smoke too much mary jane, loser.

          • OBNative

            Yeah, I do smoke quite a bit, but I fail to see how that’s pertinent to the discussion, or how that’s any of your business, asshat. And yes, I did vote for him. Cry about it, you lost, get the fuck over it.

  • http://YourWebsite... Lloyd Farnatic

    Don’t do it Donald, those pudgy, little pink legs of yours got no experience of walking beyond the boudoir and the can, and the can’s an en suite. Get an employee to do it for you — and if he declines, saying the chore isn’t in his job description, fire the sucker.

  • http://YourWebsite... andrew kongri

    The Million Billionaires March! Oh oh there he goes again. Trump didn’t get it right before the elections. He should shut up. It sounds like he is a very, very very angry man because Obama and the Democrats won. Is Trump anti-Democrats generally or is anti-Obama personally? I’ll leave this to you all wonderful people to judge.

    Murdoch,well is he Amerikan or Aussie? Its people power against billionaire power.

  • http://YourWebsite... jimmy kraktov

    Trump said that Romney is one of the ‘Billionaires”. That must be why Romney didn’t want his tax returns seen by the masses. Romney was OK with being considered a ’250 million-aire’ even though all his Bain partners are Billionaires. Nice going Trump, you blew his cover. If he doesn’t watch out, Mitt might pull a “Romney” on him. You know, attack him, hold him down, and cut off his blond comb-over.

  • bobgt

    funny article, but made even funnier for the fact that the recent slew of idiocy coming from The Donald made it kinda hard to catch on that this was a joke article

  • http://www.facebook.com/william.lee.54390 William Lee

    I thought “April Fool’s” was in April….