Terms and Conditions
HELLO AND THANK YOU FOR READING THIS AGREEMENT CAREFULLY. IT IS OF GREAT IMPORTANCE THAT YOU UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT TERMS AND CONDITIONS ON THIS PAGE. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE BOUND BY THEM, LEAVE.
This Agreement is made between you and Njuz Net LLC.
theglobaledition.com is a satire/fake news site – this means that all the stories published on it are there for the sole purpose of your entertainment and are not factual nor true and you should read them as such. The publisher accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of the information provided in the content. It is a fragment of authors’ imagination and any similarity with real events or persons are accidental.
Sometimes we do use real events and names of people and/or institutions in our stories but only for satirical or parodical purposes. If you are one of them and you don’t want your public persona to be exposed to the public sense of humor, please let us know at editor (at) theglobaledition.com and we will do our best to ignore it.
We do our best not to provide you with factual and accurate information. If that by any chance happens, please let us know so we are able to correct the mistake and fire the author who allowed himself to think he is a journalist.
When using theglobaledition.com you agree:
not to do anything which will or might damage, interfere with, disrupt access to, interrupt or impair the functionality of the material available on the site;
to be entirely responsible for and keep secret any password used by you. You should change your password if you believe it’s no longer secret;
not to post, distribute or otherwise upload any defamatory, offensive, infringing, obscene, indecent or otherwise unlawful or objectionable material or information or send any chain letters, junk mail, ‘spamming’ material or any other form of bulk communication;
not to threaten, harass, stalk, abuse, disrupt or otherwise violate the rights of others, including individuals’ privacy rights; not to make any unauthorised, false or fraudulent orders, bookings or request for services;
not to obtain or attempt to obtain unauthorised access to the sites or any private or member account areas on the sites;
not do, cause or permit anything to be done that may infringe, damage or interfere with any intellectual property rights of Njuz Net LLC or any of our associated companies or third parties. Also, not to do anything that is otherwise unlawful or which may cause any liability for us.
If you send us or post any material or other information to thedglobaledition.com you agree Njuz Net Limited will not treat this information as confidential and we will be free to keep and republish this information and reuse it as we see fit. You agree to give up your rights to be identified as the author of this information and to object to any use of this information by us.
Why you need to stick to these terms and conditions
If we consider that you have breached any of these terms and conditions or have otherwise demonstrated inappropriate conduct when using the The Global Edition website we reserve the right to:
delete any material or content which you may have posted without notice to you;
discontinue your membership theglobaledition.com and other related subscriptions to additional services offered through the site; and
take measures (including terminating, suspending or restricting your access) to prevent you from using theglobaledition.com.
Our promise to you
Nothing in these terms and conditions affects your legal rights as a consumer.
It’s important to note that using the Internet does have its dangers. We take reasonable steps to ensure a fast and reliable service, but we can’t be held responsible for:
the security of theglobaledition.com
for any damage, loss of, or corruption of any data, information or material or viruses that may infect your computer equipment or other property
breach of security by hackers as a result of your use of theglobaledition.com.
We are not responsible for any injury, loss, claim, damage, or any indirect, incidental or consequential damages of any kind (including but not limited to lost profits, lost savings or revenue, or loss or corruption of data or information) which arises out of or is in any way connected with your use of or failure to use theglobaledition.com. This includes any information, products or services obtained through or any contract entered into via theglobaledition.com.
From time to time we may need to update the content on theglobaledition.com and/or maintain the software and other equipment that runs the site. During these times you may not be able to access the sites or things may be a bit slower than normal. If this happens, please try us again later.
Links to other sites
We may provide links to other websites, resources, advertisements or sponsorships either directly or through our contractual partners. We hope that you find these links useful.
If you decide to access other websites, then you will be leaving theglobaledition.com – that means that we won’t be responsible or liable for the content, advertising or products or services available from such sites or, for any dealings that you may have, or the consequences of such dealings, with the operators of those sites. Should a dispute arise between you and any third party, we’ll do our best to help you resolve it, but we can’t be responsible for any loss or damage.
We expressly reserve the right to withdraw our consent, at any time, to a link that we think is inappropriate.
Intellectual Property Rights
The Global Edition name and logo may not be used without written permission.
This also applies to all copyright, trademark rights, database rights, patent rights and any other intellectual property rights in text, graphics, audio, video or image files, content, software, data and information displayed on, or available from theglobaledition.com. This includes the organisation and layout of the site and the underlying software that’s owned by us or our licensors and suppliers. You agree that all these materials are available for your personal use only, and you may not copy, modify, alter, publish, broadcast, distribute, sell or transfer any such materials without our written permission.
We will never collect any sort of information about you without your consent. The most sinister data gathering we do is what all websites do. About your web browser via cookies. But all data gathered this way is anonymous and we don’t the first thing about you and your habits. If you don’t want to allow us even this little bit of information so we can make our service to you better, you can tweak your browser not to accept java script and you become ninja.
At some point, when you want to subscribe to our newsletter or buy something from us (thank you) we may ask you to provide personal information about you. But, we will never, under any circumstances, store, keep or ask for information that is not absolutely neccessary for providing the service you asked.
We will never under any circumstances gather your credit card information nor will we ever sell, lend or give any sort of information about you to any third party. We will rather erase our hard drives.
Changes to these terms and conditions
These terms and conditions may be amended, updated and/or modified by us from time to time. You’ll still need to agree to them, so it’s a good idea to keep checking back here to stay up to date.
If you keep visiting us here at theglobaledition.com then we’ll take that as confirmation that you have agreed to the new terms and conditions.
Last updated: June 11, 2012
(Copyright note: most of the legal lingo here we took from other sites. it’s cheaper than to hire bloodsucking lawyers. If publishers of those websites wish us to take those sentences down, let us know.)