Syphilis Outbreak Forces Porn Industry To Film Only Dry Humping Movies
Adult movie actors will be forced to cover their private parts from now on
LOS ANGELES, USA (The Global Edition) — After several reported cases of syphilis among adult film actors, several major adult movie producers from the Los Angeles area announced today at a press conference that “from now on they will be making only dry humping movies to promote safe sex inside the industry.”
“Clearly our industry’s priority is the health and well-being of our performers,” said Joone, producer and director for the Digital Playground. “Existing California workplace laws already mandate the use of condoms by porn performers, but the fans hate to see them in the movies, so we had to find an alternative,” added Digital Playground CEO.
Jules Jordan, one of the most popular Evil Angel pornographic film producers, explained to reporters that the porn industry generates enormous amounts of money and they just could not afford to have any loops in distribution.
“I know it seems bizarre at first, but dry humping has been a big part of sex for a long time. A lot of guys have dropped their load in their pants more than a couple of times while dry humping, so we know it can be pretty damn hot,” said Mr. Jordan.
Evil Angel producer also said that “dry humping will save millions of dollars porn companies use on casting” because “more people would be willing to have sex with their clothes on then off in front of the camera.” Mr. Jordan also added that “this kind of concept is tolerable to a larger percentage of the part of the public, especially those who complain about the nudity in our films.”
The Adult Actor Association representative stated that the dry humping is the safest form of sex there is, unless you count saying “no” to having sex, but saying “no”, in their own words, “never happened in history of adult filmmaking”.
“I’d rather dry hump than use a stupid condom,” said Mike Wood, one of the best known actors in the business.
Although period of adjustment is necessary, Steven Hirsch, one of the founders of Vivid Entertainment said: “Knowing all kinds of fetishes people these days are into, I don’t see how this fail. If they can whack off to such things as foot licking, teeth washing, puking and even door knob sucking like the Japanese, I don’t see any reason why would dry humping be a problem?”
