Published On: Thu, Nov 15th, 2012

Study Finds Men Live Longer With Plenty of Beer, Fried Foods and if Conversations Kept Short

DES MOINES, IOWA (The Global Edition) — The Institute of Men’s Health in Des Moines recently completed a study of the Male behavioral and dietary habits and came with remarkable conclusions. The study which took place over a six year period, had one thousand men participating, each of whom had two weeks off in controlled environments.

The study, first tried with test rodents, placed the men for the first week in a controlled environment. The participants were not allowed any alcohol, had to eat, what is generally considered healthy food, exercise, have lengthy conversation, sit up straight and wear designer clothes that matched.

After one week the men were sullen, angry and depressed. Even the laboratory rats showed a considerable change in mood.

However, the second week was quite different. The men drank beer, ate fried foods, walked, but only as far as the refrigerator. Conversation not about football or women’s anatomy, were kept to less than 10 seconds. (The male attention span is believed to be about 8 seconds, study concluded).

After a week of this, many of the men tried to schedule their next vacation at the Institute. Although their quarters were so messy, that the Institute has asked for assistance from the Army Corps of Engineers to rebuild it, they were happy and healthy, and their blood pressure noticeably lower.

The Institute’s CEO, Dr. Carol Vovis, stated that the “study, although inconclusive, does demand further investigation“ Vovis further added, “that even the rats look nice when their clothes match.”

By TGE Contributor Jello Marx

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