Social Media to Save Catholic Church, Claims New Internet-Savvy Pope
VATICAN CITY (The Global Edition) – In an exciting transformation for the 2,000-year-old institution, Pope Francis I is giving Catholicism a fresh injection of social media savvy to attract the next generation of congregants.
At 76 years young, Pope Francis knows Web 2.0, and he plans to use social media to save the Catholic faith, a religion plagued by scandal and battling a declining membership in developed nations. The hip new pope said he’ll tackle these problems head-on by adopting the strategies of hot websites like Buzzfeed and Twitter.
“Obviously, we need to modernize the Catholic faith. If we’re going to connect with the youth of the world, we need content-rich media and viral videos,” said His Holiness, also announcing that his papal title would officially change to Pope Francis.com. Promising big reforms to bring the Church into the modern era, the tech-smart supreme pontiff has already released a Spotify playlist called “Pope Jams” and started an Instagram account of pictures of holy Catholic cathedrals with Polaroid-style filters applied to make them look retro.
He then cited a new SEO initiative for recently purchased domain www.CatholicismRocks.com. For the site’s first post, the bishop of Rome and Vicar of Christ wrote the article “34 Ways to Know You Had the Coolest Baptism Ever,” pushing on Twitter under the hashtags #CoolLikeACatholic, #PopeDope #80sBaptism and #YouKnowShesAHeathenWhen. He is also asking cardinals to post videos to Vine, a six-second video platform, of cardinals doing the Harlem Shake or any kittens that look like Jesus.
“These are big changes, but trust me, it’s time we moved our Church into the 21st century,” said Pope Francis.com.
By TGE correspondent David Ross