Romney Debates Whether To Wear $20,000 Or $30,000 Suit Tonight

COLORADO, USA (The Global Edition) — Mitt Romney, nominee of the Republican Party for President of the United States, spent 45 minutes deliberating whether to wear his custom Brooks Brothers suit, valued at $20,000 or his Dormeuil suit, which he purchased for $30,000 before a Bain Capital meeting in Tokyo.

“I’ve had a lot of great moments in that one,” Romney thought to himself as he glanced toward the charcoal gray, roughly the average annual per capita income of U.S. citizen valued Dormeuil suit. “I was wearing that suit when we bought that podunk Sealy mattress company,” added the Republican presidential candidate.

“On the other hand, my Brooks Brothers is my old standard” Romney thought. “I won the Wisconsin primary in these threads.”

In an effort to distract himself from making the decision too hastily, Romney put a Patek Philippe watch valued at $12,000 on his wrist and proceeded to carefully lay out a selection of designer ties on his hotel bed. After finishing a glass of freshly squeezed lemonade, Romney laid both suits on the bed and quietly whispered “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe” before settling on the custom Brooks Brothers suit.

“This is a good choice—makes me look like an average Joe,” said Romney when glancing into a mirror sources inside the hotel confirmed.

After Romney’s wardrobe assistants helped him neaten up, he carefully pinned a diamond-encrusted flag pin in his lapel before deciding whether to take his helicopter or stretch limousine to the debate.

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  1. jethromayham says:

    A $30k suit only confirms that he is one of the 1%. No wonder he can never relate to the 47% folks. With the money he saved offshore, he could afford a full watch case of luxry watches.
    He probably has several of the best watch winders made and he’ll say are solar powered.

  2. Sammy says:

    This is obviously not true. How can the writer know his thoughts by the second…this is just satire.

  3. james says:

    The obvious fact remains that Mr. Romney is in this ‘presidential’ game for personal self serving egotistical reasons… and for nothing to do with ‘serving’ people!

  4. Samantha says:

    is this report really fair? anyone know how much obama’s suits cost?

  5. John says:

    I swear a democrat will come up with some off the wall stuff and it kills me that people actually swallow it…

  6. Me.or is it? says:

    Obama probably buys his suits at the niccer and he can have truth Justice and the American way….No sorry that’s super Romney…..or at least what “HE” thinks.

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