Published On: Wed, Jan 22nd, 2014

Report: Poor People Still Unaware of Immortality

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Global Edition) – A new report released Friday indicates those at the lowest end of the economic spectrum remain unaware of the invention of immortality.

The research, conducted by the Heritage Foundation, revealed poor people have absolutely no idea they never have to die.

“Do they really not know?” asked a stout, mustachioed man wearing a top hat and wiping his sweaty brow with hundred-dollar bills.

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