Nicolas Sarkozy Creating Fake Scandals To Divert People From Digging Up Real Dirt From His Past
In an attempt to make a scandal, Sarkozy swapped wine for beer
PARIS, FRANCE (The Global Edition) – What is Nicolas Sarkozy up to? With police swarming his home looking for evidence of political wrongdoing, the former French President was allegedly spotted at an upscale Paris fashion boutique earlier this week— not with his wife, former supermodel Carla Bruni, but alone and trying on women’s clothing.
Witnesses say they overheard Mr. Sarkozy muttering, “L’Oreal L’Oreal L’Oreal – nothing to do with bribery, my precious. Nothing! But oh, the hair colors, and pretty nails, and that rouge lipstick. How I love me some rouge! Rouge rouge rouge rouge rouge rouge rouge…”
As Mr. Sarkozy’s apparent crossdressing behavior has been largely unknown until now, some political observers have speculated that the former president is using his new civilian life as an opportunity to come out as a transvetite.
Meanwhile, others say the spectacle at the boutique was merely an attempt to distract the public from any past scandals that may soon be unearthed by investigators, while at the same time improve the former president’s chances of landing a spot on an American reality TV series.
An increasing number of analysts are endorsing the second view. Their claims are supported by the fact that another group of witnesses say they overheard the former president plotting a new scandal with “a couple of suspicious characters” in a small Paris café early this morning.
The controversial former president, who after the expiration of his presidential immunity on June 16th has been the subject of numerous police raids, gave an exclusive interview to Global Edition reporters in which he confirmed his suspected plan to “create news scandals” to divert the attention of police and media from “digging up dirt” about his past.
“My life has turned into a living hell,” Mr. Sarkozy said. “As we speak, there are police units going through my records and snooping through my villa. They’re even searching the homes of people close to me. The situation with the media isn’t much different, so I need to do something quickly because I don’t want to see those awful, deeply buried skeletons come out of the closet,” Mr. Sarkozy added.
In further discussions with journalists from The Global Edition, the former president described several scenarios that would, in his words, “keep the past in the past”. Among the various scandals that Mr. Sarkozy said that he would be able to fabricate with some success include the idea that he was a member of a cult that routinely drank human blood, had slept with a well-built Greek man, and had been overheard saying that he hated wine.
