Men Around The World Call For Ban Of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’
THE WORLD, (The Global Edition) – In peaceful protests held in every capital in the world today, millions of men around the world called for a global ban on the international bestseller “Fifty Shades Of Gray” on Monday, and threatened to organize public burnings of the book if their demands are not met. In a letter sent to the book’s publishers, frustrated men said that the book “raised women’s expectations about sex to a level that is almost impossible to meet”.
“We’ve done some kinky stuff in bed before, but this book just goes too far. And now women all across the globe think we are able to pull that shit off without getting hurt. There’s a certain pain limit we as men are not comfortable crossing. Future generations of men should not be exposed to such behavior and we demand the book be banned from future publishing,” the letter sent to media outlets across the globe read.
During mass protests staged all across the globe, men complained that the book, which became a global phenomenon after one woman read it and recommended it to another woman, “completely changed the way they used to have sex” and that “they are not sure how long they will be able to keep up with the new demands and expectations of their spouses, girlfriends, and one-night-stands.”
“Nobody can have that kind of sex that often and stay sane. I used to love having sex, now I cringe at the very thought of it,” one of the men, who wished to remain anonymous, told reporters.