Hugh Hefner Harvesting Eggs Of Playboy Playmates In Hopes Of Creating The Perfect Wife
LOS ANGELES, Ca. (The Global Edition)–Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, who just last week married his third wife, Crystal Harris, 26, announced that he has for the past 20 years been harvesting eggs of Playboy centerfolds at the “Chula Vista, California Planned Parenthood Center” in the hopes of creating the perfect wife.
The controversial, yet highly successful Hefner, is not concerned about the inevitable protests from the “right to life” movement:
“Look, we are only harvesting eggs from our progressive, and of course, well endowed, centerfolds. We have harvested thousands of eggs but We only plan to fertilize one or two. The right-wing will be thrilled, when they finally realize that that means thousands of Liberals will never be born.” Hefner stated.
It is unclear whether any of the eggs have already been fertilized and who the sperm donors were, but there have been rumors circulating of a “test-tube” playmate being grown at the Hefner’s Mansion. The rumors are unsubstantiated, but plausible, based upon Hefner’s advance age.
When pressed for a comment about this unusual situation, the present Mrs. Hefner, said “I can’t blame Hef, by the time is future wife is old enough to marry, I may be 30. Nobody wants an old hag!”
By TGE contributor Jello Marx