Homosexual Immune To Gay Cure, Tries Alternative Medicine - The Global Edition
Published On: Thu, Aug 23rd, 2012

Homosexual Immune To Gay Cure, Tries Alternative Medicine

SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA (The Global Edition) – Gary James, a 12-year-old boy who tested positive for homosexuality, seems to have developed immunity to the gay cure and has been encouraged to try alternative medicine, local media is reporting.

The 12-year-old son of a Christian pastor from San Jose first displayed symptoms of homosexuality three years ago when he was “grossed out” by watching boxing with his dad and said that he would “rather watch synchronized swimming”. At that moment, the preteen’s parents decided not to act, thinking it was “just a phase he would grow out of”.

“We didn’t want to make any rash decisions. Some kids are late bloomers and we didn’t want to jump to any conclusions,” Samantha James, Gary’s mother told reporters.

It was only when Gary began demonstrating an interest in fashion and stated his intention to become a designer when he grows up that his father Pastor James began to suspect that his son was indeed “sick” and decided to have him tested for gayness.

Gary tested “positive” and spent months in intensive treatment under the care of licensed “ex-gay” psychologist Tedd Moronni.

Dr. Moronni told reporters that young Gary had apparently developed “some kind of super anti-bodies” that had “made him immune to all sorts of scientifically proven gay cures”, and that his only hope was to try alternative medicine.

“We have tried everything and still no results,” Dr. Moronni said. “We tried beating the gay out of him, tried forcing him to date females, we even tried having his family and friends disown him and still, nothing,” Dr. Moronni added.

As an alternative solution, the now formerly gay happily married heterosexual shrink suggested an anti-gay Russian group to the James family whose methods, due to their extreme violence, aren’t approved by the official Gay Cure Committee but have proven to be very efficient. Dr. Moronni added that a couple of his former clients “have tried them and never again had another gay thought.”

Share your view
  • http://YourWebsite... Shumsky

    never, never again!!!

    (please stop hitng me with that stick)

    8)

  • http://YourWebsite... cfb1270

    OMG! I seriously hope this is not true! You cannot cure a person’s sexual orientation! Sexual orientation is decided in the womb. Primarily chromosomes 7, 8 and 10, and the brain development of the posterior part of the corpus callosum differs in size between asexual, bisexual, homosexual and heterosexual. There is no choice and there is no way to change. This has already been proven by Neuroscience.

    • http://YourWebsite... clara

      hahaha! Calm down! Of course this is not serious. It´s meant to be a pun.