Fox News Blames Beyonce’s Hair Dryer For Blackout
NEW ORLEANS (The Global Edition) – In a Special Report that interrupted Mike Huckabee’s rendition of “Feelings” on The Huckabee Show, Fox News Correspondent Charles Krauthammer revealed that the cause of the “blackout” at last night’s Super Bowl was a power surge generated by the extra voltage needed to power Beyonce’s hair dryer.
With the Ravens up by a score of 28-6 in the third quarter, a power surge in the New Orleans Superdome caused about half of the lights in the stadium to go out. At first officials were unsure as to what caused the blackout, but Mr. Krauthammer’s exclusive report revealed that Beyonce, who had been warned not to use her new turbocharged hairdryer until 90% of the lights in the stadium were out, used the device during the game’s third quarter anyway.
A spokesman for Beyonce initially rejected the allegations, stating that, “although Beyonce does own a new ‘Clairol Turbo powered hair dryer’, it was not used at the Superdome.” However, after dozens of reporters pressed him to prove his claim, the spokesman was forced to admit that “a single click of the power button might have been the cause of the blackout.”
In a confessional interview with Oprah on Monday, the popular singer said she feels that nothing has been going her way lately.
“During my inauguration performance, right after the first verse, I somehow started lip-syncing. This seriously has only happened to me a few times in my career, and I immediately thought about how unlucky I was to have such bad luck at such an important moment for me, the President, the country. I tried to go on as if nothing unusual was happening, but the media somehow discovered it,” Beyonce confessed tearfully, adding that last night she had hoped that the blackout she caused would pass unnoticed, but that “it seems that some of the media had reporters at the scene.”
By TGE Correspondent Jello Marx