After Rodman’s Visit, North Koreans Finally Realize What All Americans Look Like
PYONGYANG (The Global Edition)– Citizens of North Korea have finally managed to get an impression what the Americans look like, after being visited by Dennis Rodman. Earlier this week, the former Chicago Bulls player visited the secluded country as part of the North Korean state program “Meet inferior cultures”. “Thanks to our Great National More...
Leo Messi Claims He Did Not Play Against Milan Last Night
BARCELONA (The Global Edition) – Barcelona’s forward Leonel Messi expressed shock about the accusations that he played a tremendously bad game against Milan because, according to him, he did not ever take part More...
49ers Super Bowl Defeat Sparks Organic Riots In San Francisco
SAN FRANCISCO (The Global Edition) – Several San Francisco neighborhoods, including the Mission, Lower Haight and Haight-Ashbury districts, were shaken by spontaneous organic “eco-conscious” and renewable More...
Paris Saint Germain Signs Roman Abramovich As New Club Owner
PARIS (The Global Edition) – French Football club Paris Saint Germain managed to strengthen its team by buying Roman Abramovich, owner of Chelsea FC. Qatar Sheikh, who owns the Parisian club, deemed the purchase More...
Manti Te’o Somehow Still Candidate for Degree from Prestigious University
SOUTH BEND, Ind. (The Global Editioin) – Despite sincerely believing a fake woman he never met was a real person, Manti Te’o remains on track to graduate from a prestigious institution of higher learning, according More...
Armstrong Says He Regrets Being Discovered For Using Performance-Enhancing Drugs
NEW YORK (The Global Edition) – Lance Armstrong, one of the most famous cyclists of all time, said in an interview on the Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday that he highly regrets the public finding out he won all More...
Every Person Known To Notre Dame All-American Linebacker Manti Te’o May Or May Not Have Existed
SOUTH BEND, Ind. (The Global Edition) – Standing next to a hologram that he claimed was his father, Notre Dame All-American Linebacker Manti Te’o announced to what was either a packed house of reporters More...
Armstrong Apologizes For Cheating Fans, Death
AUSTIN, TEXAS (The Global Edition)–Disgraced former seven time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong tearfully confessed to taking performance-enhancing drugs during his treatment for advanced metastasized More...
Fan Sues Mets For Consumer Fraud
NEW YORK, (The Global Edition) — In November 2012, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon and the New York Metropolitan baseball team (“New York Mets”) were sued in the Federal Courts for the Eastern District of More...
Bryant Breaks All-Time NBA No Passing Record
NEW ORLEANS (The Global Edition) – Kobe Bryant managed to set the new NBA all-time no passing record in a game against the Hornets at the New Orleans Arena last night, making him the youngest player to ever More...