CIA Plot To Let Chavez Age And Die Naturally Comes To Fruition

hugo

CARACAS, VENEZUELA (The Global Edition) — A CIA-backed plan to assassinate Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez by letting him die on his own has finally reached completion. Dubbed “Operation Egg Timer” by the agency, the secretive (but not classified) plot involved allowing the infamous politician to age, fall ill, or possibly die in an accident More...

by The Global Edition | Published 4 years ago
us senate
By The Global Edition On Monday, February 25th, 2013
1 Comment

US Senate Still Debating What ‘Sequester’ Means

WASHINGTON D.C. (The global Edition) — The United States Senate held heated debates today in an effort to come up with a meaning for the word ‘sequester’. Majority leader. Senator Harry Reid (D, More...

pat buchanon
By The Global Edition On Wednesday, February 20th, 2013
0 Comments

Pat Buchanan Calls For Banning People

WASHINGTON D.C. (The Global Edition) — Pat Buchanan, former Nixon speechwriter, columnist and a past candidate for the Republican presidential nomination came out today with a joint statement in partnership More...

michelle teddy
By The Global Edition On Thursday, February 14th, 2013
1 Comment

Forgetful Obama Grabs Michelle Novelty Teddy Bear at Gas Station On Way Home

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Global Edition) – Pres. Obama was hoping to avert a Valentine’s Day catastrophe Thursday after forgetting to plan anything special for First Lady Michelle. Distracted by a long day at work, More...

Undocumented-immigrants-in-USA
By The Global Edition On Saturday, February 9th, 2013
1 Comment

Republicans Agree To Residency For Undocumented Aliens As Long As They Leave And Never Come Back

WASHINGTON (The Global Edition)–In a surprise gesture, the Republican leaders of the House of Representatives agreed to be more open to the issue of permanent residency for undocumented aliens, conditioned More...

mexican
By The Global Edition On Friday, February 8th, 2013
1 Comment

Young, Starry-Eyed Immigrant Dreams of One Day Being Killed by Drone as Full-Fledged U.S. Citizen

ABILENE, Texas (The Global Edition) – Having braved innumerable obstacles in his immigration to the United States, 22-year-old Javier Vargas is finally one step closer to realizing his dream: to become a full-fledged More...

Mitch McConnell
By The Global Edition On Friday, February 1st, 2013
2 Comments

Mitch McConnell Urging Senate to Pass Any Immigration Reform that Brings in ‘Hot Asian Girls’

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Global Edition) – With Democrats and Republicans making progress on a bill to reform the U.S. immigration system, Senate Minority Leader and noted sexual fetishist Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) More...

mccain hagel
By The Global Edition On Thursday, January 31st, 2013
1 Comment

At Hagel Hearing, McCain Demands to Know What It Would Have Been Like If He Were President

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Global Edition) – In a heated confirmation hearing Thursday, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) grilled defense secretary nominee Chuck Hagel on what it would have been like if McCain were president More...

pipeline
By The Global Edition On Tuesday, January 29th, 2013
0 Comments

Obama: Construction of Transcontinental Immigrant Pipeline Underway

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Global Edition) – Buoyed by recent Senate compromises on immigration reform, President Obama announced Tuesday plans to build a transcontinental immigrant pipeline. Senior White House officials More...

barack_obama_inauguration
By The Global Edition On Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013
0 Comments

President Obama Lip-Syncs His Inaugural Address

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Global Edition)–In what is believed to be a first in presidential inaugurations, President Barack Obama appears to have lip-synced a majority of his inaugural address. “There is a More...