Economic Crisis Forces Greeks To Have Small, Skinny Weddings
ATHENS, GREECE (The Global Edition) – After five years of a deepening economic recession and growing unemployment rate in Greece, people of this country are being forced to stage small, skinny weddings instead of the traditional ones. Non-Executive Chairman of the Board of NBG Georgios Zanias, has addressed the people of this country in a arranged More...
Thieves That Stole Five Tonnes Of Nutella Now Robbing Bakeries
KESSEL, Germany (The Global Edition) – An unknown number of culprits that stole 5.5 metric tons of “Nutella” chocolate-hazelnut spread from a parked trailer in the central German town of Bad Hersfeld More...
Greece Opens First De-Relaxing Tourist Resort
ATHENS (The Global Edition) – Greek press office announced yesterday their country is almost done building the world’s first “non-relaxing tourist resort”, and if everything goes to plan, More...
Carnival Cruise Lines Now Offering ‘Terror On The High Seas’ Adventure Packages
LONDON, UK (The Global Edition) — In the wake of another voyage cut short by mechanical problems, Carnival Cruise Lines has announced it will continue its wildly popular survival/adventure series with a program More...
Social Media to Save Catholic Church, Claims New Internet-Savvy Pope
VATICAN CITY (The Global Edition) – In an exciting transformation for the 2,000-year-old institution, Pope Francis I is giving Catholicism a fresh injection of social media savvy to attract the next generation More...
Papal Candidates Committing Last-Minute Sins Before Becoming Infallible
VATICAN CITY (The Global Edition) – As the papal conclave proceeds to select the next pope, frontrunners are reportedly running amok in Rome in an attempt to squeeze in every last vile act they can before one More...
Slim Chances Prospective Black Pope Not Muslim
VATICAN, LOS ANGELES, GLASGOW (The Global Edition) — Cardinal Peter Turkson, who appears well positioned to become the first Black Pope in 1500 years, is most likely a Muslim, claim sources. Allegations that More...
Decades of Prayer Finally Cure AIDS
Religious leaders of the world have made medical history by effectively curing with their prayers a child born with HIV, the first time such a case has been documented. Thanks to years and years of anti-AIDS prayers More...
Hookers and Pot Turn Pope’s Farewell Party into ‘Pope’s Farewell Par-TAY!’
VATICAN, (The Global Edition) — In what started as a very solemn and boring event, reports are coming out of prostitutes and marijuana managed to “spice things up” at Pope Benedict’s farewell More...
Leo Messi Claims He Did Not Play Against Milan Last Night
BARCELONA (The Global Edition) – Barcelona’s forward Leonel Messi expressed shock about the accusations that he played a tremendously bad game against Milan because, according to him, he did not ever take part More...