Secret United Nations Plot to Create World Peace Discovered
NEW YORK, LONDON, WORLD (The Global Edition) — Nations around the globe are up in arms, with the revelation that Assistant Secretary General of The United Nations, Thane Gustafson, of Norway, has been secretly plotting with other U.N. Officials for world peace. Representatives of World’s nuclear powers stated in a joint press conference More...
Bored Iran Somehow Manages To Get Through Another Lecture By World Powers Without Falling Asleep
ALMATY, Kazakhstan (The Global Edition) – Iranian officials managed somehow to stay awake at the last high-level talks over Tehran’s nuclear program with boring World Power’ representatives, held More...
North Korea Detonates Nuclear Weapon To Take Spotlight Away From Pope’s Retirement
Seoul (The Global Edition) — North Korea detonated a nuclear device with an estimated yield of eight-kilotons to unanimous condemnation from the world community, succeeding in its “attempt to divert attention More...
Pope Resigns To Pursue Religion
VATICAN (The Global Edition) — In an entirely unexpected development, the Vatican has confirmed that Pope Ratzinger will resign in order to have more time to devote himself to faith and religion. The reasons More...
Starving African Child Becomes Starving African Teenager, Loses Humanitarian Aid
ADDIS ABABA (The Global Edition) – Jacob Nkenze, a 13-year-old boy from an Ethiopian village near Addis Ababa, was rejected for humanitarian aid this week because he’s technically no longer a child, More...
African Tribe Embarrassed To Be Saved From Hunger By Bono Of All People
RWANDA (The Global Edition) – The Pygmies of Bwiza village, one of the poorest tribes in Rwanda and indeed the entire African continent, expressed their shame before representatives of international media More...
God Blesses Other Countries While America Not Watching
UNIVERSE, (The Global Edition) – Supreme being and Creator of the World, God himself has blessed a handful of other countries while America wasn’t paying attention, the Global Edition finds out. Sources close More...
Nothing Happened Today
WORLD (The Global Edition) – People from all over the world expressed their dissatisfaction with the events that occurred and were reported across various social media networks today, with several commenters More...
Stupid Tourists Placed On The Endangered Species List
WORLDWIDE, (The Global Edition)–The International Delegation of Insane and Other Tourists (IDIOT) have placed the stupid International Tourist on the endangered list. This announcement came after the latest More...
Discovery of Majestic Aquatic Species Prompts Worldwide Race to Kill It First
TOKYO (The Global Edition) – After years of failed attempts, scientists have finally managed to capture video of the elusive giant squid (Architeuthis dux) in its natural habitat, video they revealed publicly More...