Cardiologists Discover Groove is in the Heart
WARSAW (The Global Edition) – In the course of a routine exam, a team of Polish cardiologists, led by Dr. Paulina Maślanka, made the landmark discovery that the groove is indeed in the heart. “We have speculated about this since 1990, and we published a rather well-received paper on the subject (‘Groove is in the Heart’), but no concrete evidence was available until now,” stated Dr. Piotr Szymanski for the Global Edition.
According to the findings, an apparent heart murmur in a clinic patient was recorded which unmistakably sounded like “We’re going to dance, we’re going to dance, we’re going to dance, and have some fun.”
Szymanski notes that the whole team was fully delighted with the discovery, which, upon further investigation, revealed other distinct markers such as an apneic syncope and veiled references to both “supperdishes” and “succotash.”
“The groove is clearly in there,” Dr. Maślanka affirmed. “The chills that [this discovery] spills up my back keep me filled with satisfaction.”
Following their early paper on the “groove,” much of the team’s subsequent work has been disputed and obscured. The discovery has already come under fire by cardiovascular specialists in Poland and abroad, but Dr. Symanski remains equanimous, stating that the detractors are “not vicious or malicious, just de-lovely and delicious.”
“I couldn’t ask for another,” he added.
By TGE correspondents Chris Farmer
and Mike King