Published On: Wed, May 8th, 2013

Bob Dylan Acknowledges 50-Year-Long Hoax: My Lyrics Don’t Make Sense

Rock and roll legend, Bob Dylan, acknowledged in a recent interview that he has perpetuated an elaborate hoax on the public for more than fifty years. “I can’t sing, half of the time I don’t even say real words, I just mumble, and my lyrics make no sense.”

Dylan, born Robert Zimmerman, said it began innocently in a concert at the New York Coffee House, “The Bitter End” in 1962. “The audience was so stoned that when I started to play ‘This land is My Land’ for the eighth time, I started to mumble sounds. The audience went crazy. The critics said I was the ‘future of rock and roll’ so who am I to disappoint them? I was just giving the people what they wanted. ”

Dylan, often referred to as a “poetic genius”, claims he never knew what people were talking about. How profound is ‘don’t want to be a bum, you better chew gum. The pump don’t work ‘cause the vandals stole the handles’?” I just made up simple rhymes. Any child could have done what I did.”

The Rolling Stone interview was a promotion for the star’s recent autobiography “Buy This Book and the Charade Will Continue”.

The confession has had no apparent impact on the singer’s popularity, with his new book topping Amazon’s best-seller chart this week.

“Apparently, Lincoln was wrong. You can fool all of the people, all of the time,” Dylan added.

By TGE correspondent Jello Marx

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  1. Jay Mandeville says:

    This completely made up “satire” is kind of funny. Nor really funny enough to be worthy of publication necessarily, but kind of funny.

  2. Bob Judd says:

    HAHA! Thank you Dylan, but WE know what you meant!

  3. wgalison says:

    It is a good thing that satire will be officially made illegal under the new anti-terrorism laws. It is a matter of national security because Americans’ inability to understand satire shows our enemies hat we are too stupid to protect ourselves against attack.

  4. frankie paradiso says:

    Never underestimate this genius’s sly sense of humour … if it hadn’t been for his lyrics, pop music would still be about making out in the back row of the local cinema…c’mon!

  5. Jeroen Wielaert says:

    Now his confession that he never existed at all, but has been blown by the wind

  6. binky says:

    Yeah, these kids and their crazy rock and roll!!

  7. sonnybreaks says:

    geniuses of that level have to be crazy……some of Bob’s stuff is utter utter genius eg “only a pawn ” some of it is mediocre……some is garbage……same with all geniuses…….look at the crap both McCartney & Lennon have put out during their solo careers….but gems in there too “Maybe I’m Amazed “….”Mother “

  8. Arjun Ghosh says:

    Another hoax this interview? I think so!! i think he loves perpetuating hoaxes and this is hoaxing the hoax!!

  9. Sean Hughes says:

    Poorly done satire! They picked the only line out of the whole song “Subterranean Homesick Blues” which doesn’t make sense. and they don’t say anything absurd like Wilco’s lyrics make a lot more sense than his. Satire should be subtly obvious, but never obviously subtle.

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