At Hagel Hearing, McCain Demands to Know What It Would Have Been Like If He Were President - The Global Edition
Published On: Thu, Jan 31st, 2013

At Hagel Hearing, McCain Demands to Know What It Would Have Been Like If He Were President

mccain hagel

John McCain demanded answers on what his life would have been like and if he would have made a good president

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WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Global Edition) – In a heated confirmation hearing Thursday, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) grilled defense secretary nominee Chuck Hagel on what it would have been like if McCain were president instead of Obama. Hagel, almost a complete nonfactor during McCain’s entire line of questioning, stared blankly as the Arizona senator and former GOP presidential nominee demanded answers on what his life would have been like and if he would have made a good president.

“Tell me, Chuck,” said McCain, gazing wistfully into the distance. “Tell me what kind of president I would have been. And may I remind you you’re under oath.”

With many Senate Republicans eager to confront Hagel on any number of issues, McCain focused his questions entirely on an alternate universe in which he won the 2008 presidential election.

“Would I have been a kind and loving president?” he asked amidst swinging wildly from emotional inquiry to violent outburst. “Would I not have been just!? Would I!? ANSWER ME!!!”

As McCain continued his hypothetical assault, fellow members of the Senate Armed Services Committee awkwardly checked their watches and looked at the floor. After several minutes, McCain became exhausted, sighing and beginning a question only to stop mid-sentence.

“I mean, should I have … When did everything … Where did I …,” he asked, as Hagel stared sympathetically at the once-celebrated American hero. “Palin? Was it Palin?”

Hagel eventually won McCain’s support for his confirmation by patting the senator on the shoulder and telling him he did the best he could.

By TGE correspondent David Ross

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  • Spanishbill

    Ouch! This is so close to home that it hurts. It’s that ‘alternate universe’ thing. I’m afraid those are the questions Sen. McCain would like to have answered every time he gets in front of a microphone (and probably when he says his prayers before he goes to sleep at night.) I commend the Senator for his service to our nation and respectfully suggest it might be time to retire to one of those 6 or 7 or 8 homes that he owns (maybe one near a golf course so he doesn’t have to drive too far in one of the 10 or 15 or 20 cars that he owns). I guess we can all say ‘he did the best he could’.