Published On: Wed, Sep 12th, 2012

Apple Reboots iPhone Franchise, Unveils ‘iPhone Begins’

CUPERTINO, CALIFORNIA (The Global Edition) – In their long-awaited unveiling of the next installment of the iPhone series, tech giant Apple surprised fans all over the world by deciding to start the series from scratch with a completely new product aptly named ‘iPhone Begins’. Apple CEO Tim Cook announced that the new version of popular mobile device will be “significantly darker and gritty, pondering the eternal idea of the fight between good and evil”.

“What we’ve realized with previous installments of the iPhone is that people are starting to get a little bit tired of the clean-cut, perfect-in-all-ways, square device that never makes any mistakes. This franchise reboot will allow us to explore what it would be like if the audience realized the true background of our hero, where it’s coming from and its dualistic nature,” Tim Cook explained at the unveiling the new device.

Fans all across the world watched in amazement as the first images of ‘iPhone Begins’ showed up on the big screen behind Tim Cook, revealing a black matte surface, grayscale icons and a bulletproof touch screen. According to rumors, all parts of the new iPhone were molded by an old Buddhist fraternity that lives atop the highest peaks of the Himalayas, with finishing touches added at a new top secret location Apple mansion on the outskirts of New York City.

‘iPhone Begins’ will also feature an entirely new set of apps with functions such as the ability to scan the area for crime-related activities, smoke bomb diversion, and retrieve contact information for all the world’s psychiatrists.

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  1. Daedronus says:

    Haha, love it. Thank you for writing this, unnamed jester.

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